SOMERS — What a treat it is to attend the Somers Village Players’ 32nd annual dinner theater production, held at Joanne’s Café and Banquet House.
Their spring production is a 1988 award winning comedy by Neil Simon called “Rumors.”
For $33 you get a delicious banquet meal of succulent roast beef with gravy, salad, pasta, garlic and butter green beans, roasted red new potatoes, plus coffee or tea and dessert, followed by a effervescent play by a skillful, energetic group of talented actors.
The great thing about dinner theater is, you don’t have to stress out about getting your bill from the waiter to make it to the show in time.
In this play, which is set in present-day suburban New York, guests arrive to the house of the city’s deputy mayor, to celebrate he and his wife’s 10th wedding anniversary.
One by one his guests learn that the deputy mayor shot himself in the ear, the servants have all disappeared, and the wife is missing in action.
First to discover the earlobe situation are the deputy mayor’s lawyer, Ken Gorman, played energetically by stage veteran Ron Blanchette, and his wife Chris Gorman, played by the Kathy Welsh.
Welsh looks remarkably like Imogene Coca from the old Sid Caesar television show, and is every bit as talented as the famous comedian.
When she calls her husband an idiot, you really believe it. Also funny is when Welsh, as Chris Gorman, exclaims in exasperation, “I can’t believe I shaved my legs for this!”
“Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive,” as Sir Walter Scott says, and nothing could be truer, or sillier, in this witty, wild romp of a farce, where attempts to dissemble unweave almost as quickly as they are created.
This is a true ensemble character-driven play. Each actor gets to have his or her moment in the sun to indulge in silly banter.
Included in the slapstick fun is the jealous crystal-worshipping wife, Cassie Cooper, played with a sexy pout by Linden Ela; her officious, ambitious politico husband Glenn, played with believable stiffness by Alexander Crowell; the sarcastic wife Claire Ganz, played by Darlene LaPointe; and her stiff-necked, starving accountant husband Lenny, played by the Mark Depathy.
Also amusing is the know-it-all therapist Ernie Cusak, played by David Crowell, and his kooky wife Cookie, played by Trish Urso. Urso practically steals the show in her ridiculous 60-year-old Polish outfit, her ditzy, dazed smile, and her periodic back-spasms — she’s hysterical.
Urso and Crowell make an amusingly unctuous and overbearing couple when they refer to each other as “popsy and puppy,” then “cupcake and monkey.”
The play is a mishmash of slapstick, mystery, character humor, and more one-liners than you can shake a Q-tip at (you must see the play to understand that one.)
Be forewarned that there is plenty of profanity in this scandalous farcical play, so it is not recommended for young children.
The show on Saturday, Mar. 28 is already sold out, but other evenings still have seating available, so be sure to call for tickets to attend this fun and complete night of entertainment.

RUMORS

3 stars
Theater: Somers Village Players
Location: Joanne’s Café and Banquet House, 145 Main Street, Somers
Running time: About 2 and ½ hours with one intermission.
Show Times: Friday and Saturday though Apr. 4. Social hour starting at 6 p.m. Dinner at 7 p.m. Show at 8 p.m.
Tickets: $33, including dinner, with cash bar. Call 860-749-0245 for reservations. Tickets still available for all nights except Saturday, Mar. 28.
Production: Written by Neil Simon. Directed by Gus Rousseau. Produced by Betty Domer. Stage manager Sue Moke.
Actor …. Character
Kathy Welsh … Chris Gorman
Ron Blanchette … Ken Gorman
Darlene LaPointe … Claire Ganz
Mark Depathy … Lenny Ganz
David Crowell … Ernie Cusak
Trish Urso … Cookie Cusak
Alexander Crowell … Glenn Cooper
Linden Ela … Cassie Cooper
Cheryl Samborski … Officer Welsh
Peter Desaulinier … Officer Pudney